Recently, I was told something that made me pause.

That I was selfish.
That I should be more grateful.

At first, I sat with it. I always do. I believe in reflection, accountability, and checking myself before reacting. But as I replayed the words, a deeper question surfaced:

Grateful… at what cost?

At the cost of being overextended?
At the cost of being constantly available but rarely supported?
At the cost of being useful to everyone else while becoming useless to myself?

A Real-Life Scenario (That Feels Too Familiar)

Picture this.

You’re the person people call when things fall apart.
You show up. You solve problems. You give resources, time, energy, encouragement.

But when you need something?

Silence.
Excuses.
Or worse, expectations that you’ll still give, still pour, still produce.

And when you finally say no
when you choose rest, boundaries, or alignment

You’re labeled selfish.
Ungrateful.
Distant.
Changed.

But did you really change…
Or did you just stop allowing access without reciprocity?

Useful vs. Valued

There’s a hard truth many of us don’t talk about enough:

Some people don’t value you; they value your usefulness.

• What you can do

• What you can fix

• What you can provide

• What you can sacrifice

And the moment you stop doing for them what they won’t do for themselves—or for you—you become “the problem.”

That’s not selfishness.
That’s discernment.

Ungrateful or Finally Awake?

Gratitude doesn’t mean self-abandonment.

Being grateful does not require:

• Accepting misuse

• Tolerating manipulation

• Overgiving to earn belonging

• Shrinking so others stay comfortable

True gratitude includes being thankful for wisdom, not just people.
It includes recognizing when God, life, or experience is showing you who someone really is.

Sometimes gratitude looks like walking away.
Sometimes it looks like silence.
Sometimes it looks like choosing yourself—without apology.

The Spiritual Layer: Stewardship, Not Martyrdom

Spiritually speaking, this matters.

You are a steward of your time, your gifts, your energy, your calling.

Even scripture reminds us:

• Not everyone deserves access

• Not everyone has good intentions

• Even Jesus withdrew to rest

• Even Jesus said no

You are not called to be endlessly available.
You are called to be obedient, aligned, and wise.

Overgiving doesn’t make you holy.
Boundaries don’t make you cold.

They make you healthy.

When to Apply Discernment

Apply it when:

• You’re always the giver, never the receiver

• Gratitude is demanded but never demonstrated

• You feel drained instead of fulfilled

• “Helping” starts to feel like an obligation, guilt, or fear

• Your growth threatens someone else’s comfort

That’s not when you try harder.
That’s when you pause.

A Gentle Reminder

You can be kind and boundaried.
Grateful and selective.
Loving and unavailable to misuse.

And anyone who benefits from your exhaustion will always call your rest selfish.

Let them.

From Me to You 🤍

At MedXpressionz, everything I create, planners, journals, coaching tools, and wellness resources, is rooted in this truth:

You don’t have to break yourself to be valuable.

If you’re in a season of redefining boundaries, rebuilding self-worth, and realigning spiritually and mentally, I created tools just for you.

🛍️ Visit my Stan Store for:

• Self-love and empowerment planners

• Mindfulness and mental reset journals

• Faith-centered reflection tools

• Growth resources for leaders, helpers, and healers

👉 Stan Store: https://stan.store/MedXpressionzllc
🌿 Website: www.medxpressionzllc.com

You’re not selfish for choosing yourself.
You’re just no longer available to be misused.

And that… is growth.